A memory for redemption
by Funkcase
Summary: Ashley Williams visits home, and reflects on her past.


**A memory for redemption **

**By Funkcase**

One body…

Two body…

Three body…

Four?…

The fourth soldier lay dead upon the floor…

The fourth…His face still shinning like a beacon with embers of life, drifting into the cold blanket of death…

Blackness? Is there anything? His now lifeless corpse is to be erased by the winds of time, it showed little hope, but at the same time his peaceful sleep left a grim, yet comforting feeling in my gut, as this ravaging subjugation around us briskly drifted to the front of my mind.

Shall I walk out there and take a bullet? Surrender? And hopefully stop this subversion?

My men starve and die, I see decay in the streets, bodies of men, women and children, to the invaders, there blood is nothing but a stain, tarnishing the floor, they will tear this land we call Shanxi, asunder…

This is what General Williams uttered to his granddaughter Ashley, on the night she put her name on the dotted line of the Alliance Application form, the one she proudly carried home in her backpack, on the day of her high school graduation.

It was a memory, one that will stick with him for the rest of his life, something that her father had to carry on his back like the crucifix of the Christ, and that she herself must as a obligation.

To Ash, her grandfather was a hero, it was surrender to save the lives of his people, or fight to the bitter end, sacrificing every man, women and child. He did what was right. Some of the Alliance didn't think so, someone needed to take the blame, of course it was General Williams who took the rebuke.

Sarah called Ash crazy, Lynn thought she was brave, Abbey just squeezed her tight and said ''good luck'' Dad gave her a salute, and mum gave a little cry gripping her little girl firmly in her arms.

The Williams family have certainly received a abundance of stigma for the surrender at Shanxi, the concerns from her family were not just for war, but of that stigma.

It was that stigma that made Ashley's only goal the redemption of a crime her family didn't commit.

Ash now sit's still, rocking back and fourth in her chair, thinking back on this. Now she is older and has matured a great deal, she has become a tough, smart, graceful young women. She sit's there with a quivering chill shivering up her spine, She thinks of a man, her man, her Shepard, the Normandy and it's crew. Thanks to them, she is a ''Alliance hero'', no longer will a Williams be blacklisted.

She thinks to press the send button on a email that took her over a week to write, a apology, again for a crime she didn't commit, another memory in need of redemption. She clicks save, but doesn't send the message.

Worrying, ''what if he has moved on? Have I upset him?'' Through her life of receiving stigma for things she didn't do, Ash has taken some permanent damage, if someone dies, it's her fault, if things go wrong in a relationship, it's her fault.

''Hey bum, I see you still haven't finished that email'' Sarah said, stood elegantly at the door, with a delightful smile.

''You stalking me again, writing down all the juicy little details?'' Ash snaps back at her with a scowl on her face, that quickly dies, ''Sorry, Sarah. I just have a lot on my mind''

Sarah looks like a slightly younger version of Ash, and her mannerisms seem almost to be just the same. Sarah stands there with a radiant smirk on her face with her arms crossed.

''Yeah I know, I have it all here, In my notepad'' Sarah jokes.

''Hey me Lynn, and Abbey are wondering if you want to come for a little drink later, you have spent all your time home writing that dam letter, and you leave in two days!''

Ash sighs gently ''Sorry Sarah, I guess it would do me good for a little drink''

Sarah laughs ''Just a little drink? Ash, you haven't changed that much have you!''

The four Williams sisters make there way to a local bar, called the noisy Elcor.

Lynn, orders the drinks and pays.

''Here Ash, get that down you''

''Thanks Lynn, you big softy'' Ash laughs with a beaming smile.

Lynn is slightly taller than Ash, Abby has freckles and Sarah is pretty much identical to Ash. All the Williams sisters look very alike apart from some almost microscopic details, and taste in fashion, music ect.

Sarah eyes up a guy at the opposite end of the bar. Lynn spot's her in the corner of her hawk like eyes.

''You dare'' Lynn whispers with a fiery look in her eyes.

''He look's a bit old for you, Sarah'' Abby hisses

''piss off Abby, your just jealous because more guys like ME'' Sarah snaps at her.

''Not this again'' Ash giggles, lowering her head.

''Yeah, and Sarah why don't YOU try to explain to mum what her nineteen year old daughter is doing with what looks like a thirty year old guy! You shouldn't be drinking anyway, your only nineteen, your lucky I'm actually treating you to a drink'' Lynn scolds Sarah.

Sarah has always been in truth a little afraid of Lynn, she admires Ashley but wouldn't admit it, and is a little scrappy with Abby. But the Williams sisters have a close bond that they consider couldn't be broken.

After several hours of a generous amount of booze on behalf of Lynn, and plenty of exuberant drunken dancing the Williams sisters decide to head home.

Lynn drops off Abby first, and then proceeds to take Ash and Sarah back to there mothers house.

''You head on in Sarah, I'm just going to have a little chat with Lynn'' Ash orders in a calm, but worrying tone.

As Sarah head's in, Lynn suspiciously rubs her head gently. And asks. ''Hey, what's up?

'Scratching her wrists Ash replies 'I am worried about Sarah, you don't think she would do something like fooling around with random guys do you?''

''Hell no!'' Lynn shouts shocked. ''Sarah is just a flirt, she just likes the attention, and then she sends them on there merry little way''

Ash gives a loud sign of relief.

Relieved to see Ash not so worried Lynn squeezes Ash tight in a embracing hug that only family could give ''It's great to see you sis. But don't worry so much ok? me, Abby and Mum are here to watch over Sarah''

Ashley gives Lynn a tender kiss on the forehead, ''Thanks Lynn'' and makes her way to the front door.

Back home Ashley decides to head to the kitchen for a late night snack.

''Enjoy yourself tonight honey?'' A pretty vigorous women with curly chocolate brown hair, wearing a apron asks turning around, and squeezing Ash tight.

''Hey Mum! It was amazing, you should have seen Lynn and Sarah figh..'' Ash holds her tongue, remembering Sarah isn't old enough to be drinking.

Her mother interrogates her ''Sarah has been drinking again?''

Ashley's mother was no moron, Ash knew this better than most , from when she caught Ash drinking when she was a teen, under the age limit.

Ash bites her lip ''umm maybe…''

Ashley's mother laughs ''don't worry honey, I know when she has had a few, I will turn a blind eye THIS time, for YOU'' She say 's with a pleasant smile. ''She is just like you, when you was her age. Guess what I found in her room the other day?''

Ash shrugs her shoulders ''A pair of boxing gloves? A bloodstained sword, she stole from Lynn?''

''No, an Alliance application form! I think you have become her little role model. Don't tell her I said though, I'm going to play dumb and see if she has the gonads to actually tell me'' Mum sniggers.

''There's some meatballs and spaghetti on the side for you''

A faint ''Thanks mum'' Is heard, as Ashley hastily runs up the stairs to her room with the plate in hand.

After devouring her meal Ashley lies on her bed, starring at the ceiling.

She feels a sharp pinch on her left arm, she looks at the area that was pinched, it was the stitched up remains of a wound she sustained on Virmire, from a explosion that left a bit of shrapnel cleave through her armour and pierce her skin like it was paper.

She thinks of Shepard, and Kaidan.

''It's the right choice, and you know it Ash!'' Kaidan said calmly, about to give his life so that she may live.

''Ashley, Go!'' Shepard ordered when the Normandy was destroyed, she could feel the agonizing torment in his voice, even HE was scared.

Then it occurred to Ash, she has never got to say a proper goodbye, to anyone she has lost over the years. Shepard was alive now, and if she lost him a second time without saying goodbye….

And then a great dejected feeling came upon her. She lay there holding the tears from streaming out her eyes like raindrops in London.

''Shh…It's okay sweetheart'' Ash turned to her right, beside her bed was her dad, sitting on a stool, running his soft hands through her hair. She was ten again.

In his lap was his old poetry book, hardback, self written, full of his favourite poems, with a picture of him, his wife and four daughters on the front that was taken on the day Ashley signed the dotted line.

and he starts to read Tennyson's Ulysses, the poem he told her as a kid at night to help her sleep, his and her favourite poem.

''I cannot rest from travel: I will drinkLife to the lees: all times I have enjoyedGreatly, have suffered greatly, both with thoseThat loved me, and alone;''

''I love you, sweetie'' And he was gone.

When she awoke, it was a bright sunny day. After drinking her weight in booze last night, she feels strangely refreshed, she looks at her extranet terminal, she forgot to turn it off last night.

She opens up her saved email and rereads it carefully. ''maybe I should send this'' she thinks.

''Just fucking send it!'' Sarah barks from the doorway, soon apologizing 'sorry hangover''

Ash giggles and decides to press the send button. She has a feeling things are looking up, at least for now.


End file.
